Epic Rap Battles of Kit-story!
by lolkittie64
Summary: My take on Epic Rap Battles of History: You decide who raps against who! Rated T for coarse language.
1. Bluestar VS Crookedstar!

**Epic Rap Battles of Kit-story!**

**Bluestar VS Crookedstar!**

**BEGIN!**

(Bluestar)

Gosh, I can't believe how much of a mouse-brain you are!

When it comes to Clan leaders, you like don't deserve to be a 'star!

I'll rip that smile off your crooked jaw,

You stand no chance against the powerful Blue!

Welcome to the Battle of Sunningrocks- Part twenty-two!

I got claws,

Would you like to see for yourself how they work?

When I'm finished with you,

You won't be wearing that stupid smirk!

You can keep your stinky minnows,

I've got squirrels, you fish-face!

I'd be surprised if in StarClan, they even gave you a place!

(Crookedstar)

How dare you address me

You blue-furred little traitor!

I'm from RiverClan

You think that ThunderClan is greater?

Then tell me why you had kits with my brother

That's disgusting, you fool!

You should have never met Oakheart,

He's happier with Graypool!

You can stuff your stupid prophecy

You're not special at all!

So go back to your den

Before I make you bawl!

This mouse-brain's about to see

How bad a battle can be

After this, I'll make you wish

That you had the chance to flee!

(Bluestar)

Why don't you frickin' exile yourself?

Give us all a break!

I'm not sure how many more

Of your bad raps I can take!

I don't even care

How many times you've won Sunningrocks

'Cause by the time I'm done with you

You'll have had more than a few shocks!

(Crookedstar)

Great StarClan!

Is it even possible for you to be anymore of a pain in the tail?

'Cause at the end of the day, Bluestar

You're just an EPIC FAIL!

I'll scar you so bad

You'll come crying for your mommy

Does somekit need

A little hug and a dummy?

* * *

**WHO WON?  
**  
**WHO'S NEXT?!  
**

**YOU DECIDE!**


	2. Leafpool VS Nightcloud!

**Epic Rap Battles of Kit-Story!**

**Leafpool VS Nightcloud!**

**BEGIN!**

(Nightcloud)

Oh, boy, look what we have here!

A medicine cat with three kits, trying to be rule-breaker of the year!

You may be able to tell me what to do if I ate a frog,

But honey, tell me this; Could you even fight off a Twoleg dog?

Stop breaking rules, girl, go collect some herbs, and

Stop letting WindClan cats show you how to be bad-ass, and

You may share with StarClan but when you die you won't go there

For breaking 3 rules in one night: I don't think that's fair!

(Leafpool)

I think I'd rather eat my own leg than be mates with you

What was Crowfeather thinking? Did he go down with the flu?

You are the sum of everything I despise

And lets face it: Your family's more dysfunctional than cats in a beehive!

Just trust me, your moments with Crowfeather came and went

So go and spend time with Breezepelt before he turns into a kittypet!

Your narrow little mind can't comprehend what I do:

I think the truth is, Nightcloud, my rule-breaking just scares you!

(Nightcloud)

You don't scare me: I've given birth to Breezepelt!

But if that's the way you want it, I'll have you dealt!

Everything you do you just breaks one rule or another

Your kits, for ages, didn't know you were their mother!

(Leafpool)

I look more intelligent than you when I make dirt!

Come over here, I'll give you some real HURT!

You don't belong in WindClan; You belong in the Dark Forest, so there!

History will regret you like Tigerstar!

**WHO WON?  
WHO'S NEXT?  
YOU DECIDE!**


	3. Sandstorm VS Spottedleaf!

**Epic Rap** **Battles of Kit-story!**

**Spottedleaf VS Sandstorm!**

**BEGIN!**

(Sandstorm)

Let me guess, you're here to rap?

Before you even begin, I'll say SHUT YO TRAP!

'Cause I'm all lip, I got all day

To spit harsh words in this med cat's face!

You died a virgin cat, who you think you're messin' with?

It's Sandstorm, the leader's mate, and the hottest thing since lions BITCH!

I'm getting lifted on that catnip, get that fighting turned up

You're getting killed by that Clawface, get that body scratched up

Had enough? It's my habit, when I grab the mic I milk it

You could say this rap is like the prey I catch: Because I killed it!

(Spottedleaf)

StarClan, forgive me for the words I speak

I know the voices of my ancestors tell me turn the other cheek

But I'm about to knock Miss Jealousy into the middle of next week!

I'm the best of the best, just call me Spottedleaf the Queen

When it comes to stupid mouse-brains I'm the patron saint

But I only call defeat when my stocks aren't great

I died defending Clan-mates; What more could you wish?

'Cause I'm the best med cat, you're the spiteful witch-cat, honey

My mentor taught me things your mentor couldn't teach ya

Your highest calling was a quest from your Clan leader

You gotta die for something Sandstorm, just picture your burial

"She looks more like a kittypet, not a cat gone feral."

(Sandstorm)

Sweet scratch (ooh tss) No pun intended

You're a medicine cat with rogues who made sure your life ended

But when I fight cats, honey, I can always handle it

If StarClan's in your corner, girl, you need better management

(Spottedleaf)

Do not speak StarClan's name in vain, you dung-faced cat!

You have the brains of an elderly rat!

Be thankful for your mate, don't just take him for a fool

Keep your fighting in ThunderClan, I'm way too cool.

**Who won?**

**Who's next?**

**YOU decide!**

**Epic Rap Battles of Kit-story!**


End file.
